


Of all the Thai Joints in the Greater Elms

by DoubleL27



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Awkward Conversations, F/F, Found Family, Gen, Humor, Innuendo, POV Stevie Budd, Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29245704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoubleL27/pseuds/DoubleL27
Summary: Stevie finally allows her girlfriend Ruth to come spend time in the Greater Elms rather than Stevie flying down to New York. While she's totally up for Ruth meeting her friends, seeing Jake walking down the street was not what she had in mind.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Stevie Budd/Jake (Schitt's Creek), Stevie Budd/Ruth Clancy
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59
Collections: Schitt's Creek Rare Ships! Ongoing Prompts





	Of all the Thai Joints in the Greater Elms

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [doingthemost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doingthemost/pseuds/doingthemost) in the [schittscreekrareships](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/schittscreekrareships) collection. 



> Thanks to TINN For the beta.

There’s only so long a person can date someone before introducing them to their friends. Sadly, Stevie had pushed that time period beyond its natural bounds and Ruth had insisted on coming to Schitt’s Creek. David and Patrick were the first, and really, only people Stevie had wanted Ruth to meet, outside of Roland who Ruth was unfortunately too well aware of and Twyla, whose small puddle hopper and visits to and from Alexis, had become instrumental. Ruth wanted to meet David and Patrick. David wanted to interrogate Ruth about Stevie, and possibly New York,. Patrick just shrugged everytime it came up and said it would be nice to meet the person who made her smile. _Gross._

So now, Ruth was here. Stevie had kept Ruth occupied at the motel this afternoon, a personal tour with clothing optional in certain areas. All the threads pulled together and led to her and Ruth sitting outside the Thai place in Elmdale to meet David and Patrick. Only one awkward meal needed to take place over sagging mozzarella sticks. 

The summer sun is still high enough and Stevie and Ruth each have a Thai iced tea. While there’s more authentic Thai in New York City, this place _‘isn’t the worst’_ according to David. Stevie is rather proud of the choice of restaurant until she sees a familiar swagger coming down the street.

" _Do not stop. Do not notice me. Just keep walking._ she willed the universe as Jake, of all people, moved closer. 

“Hey, Pony!” Jake said, his usual plaid shirt flapping over his tight ribbed tank. 

_Fuck._ It was as if her thoughts had drawn him in closer. Fortune was fickle and had never been Stevie’s friend. 

Ruth mouthed _Pony?_ at her and Stevie racked her brain to figure out what she could possibly say to Jake and to Ruth to save this moment. 

Before she could do anything, Jake’s lips were on hers, his hand cupping the back of her neck. Stevie was left sputtering when Jake pulled away with a fancy little caress down the side of her cheek. Stevie didn’t even turn to look at Ruth, but blinked at Jake. 

“You haven’t dropped by for a whisky in awhile,” Jake purrs at her.

Why were Patrick and David running late and not here to deflect attention and earn more kisses? Stevie tried to find her voice in the light of Jake being Jake. “Uh, umm...no, I’ve been busy. Hotels and...set up and _things.”_

 _Things?_ Stevie thought to herself. _God, could she sound any stupider?_

“Ahh, and who is this?” Jake asked, the ever suggestive note lacing his voice, as he turned to look at Ruth. 

“Oh, oh,” Stevie sputtered, “this is _Ruth._ Ruth this is…” Stevie sputtered for a moment before landing on, “Jake.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Ruth,” Jake purrs, leaning on the table. “You know, the color of your lips really accentuates the curves of your body.”

Ruth blinks and then stares at Stevie. If the world was kind, a hole would open up beneath them at this very moment. The table would fall for meters and they would all die and never have to recover from this moment. Ideally, Stevie would never have to talk to Ruth about this moment or to see anyone, ever. 

“Wasn’t expecting to see you in Elmdale, Jake,” Stevie says, false brightness, being the good girlfriend and taking the awkward attention away from Ruth. 

Jake frowned, in that slightly confused way he had. His thumb jerked behind him vaguely. “Oh, Roy’s Hardware has just the right polish for my wood.”

“Wood needs a good polish to shine,” Stevie responded.

 _FUCK!_ That was worse. That was way worse. Stevie needs the cavern to just drop open now. Maybe a giant sand worm, or soil worm, can jump out and eat them. A wild band of roving ninjas would also be excellent right now. 

“You know, if the two of you want to drop by this evening for a casual whisky, let me know,” Jake husks.

A giant meteor might be even better. Stevie forced herself to open her eyes and give Jake the kind of fake smile he never took notice of. Her sarcasm was very clear. “Thanks, I think we’re good.”

Jake knocked on the table twice before straightening. “I’ve gotta go, wood’s not gonna polish itself.. I’ll see you both around.” With that he winked and was off.

“Bye,” Stevie said, dropping her head into her hands. 

“What was that?” Ruth asked, after a considerably awkward silence.

“That was…” Stevie pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes and wished that a giant sinkhole would open up, worm or no. Maybe the meteor would be less painful. 

Stevie let her hands slide from her face and looked at Ruth. “That was _Jake.”_

“Mmm, that doesn’t explain what _that_ was,” Ruth shot back, tilting her head. She looked amused, which was something. 

Ruth was smarter than she was pretty, and she was the prettiest girl Stevie had ever seen. Ruth being able to see right through the _Jake is Jake_ wasn’t a surprise. 

“I...Jake is...a long and complicated story. Okay, it’s not a long and complicated story, Jake is a person with whom I used to enjoy myself.”

“He’s your ex, then?” Ruth asked.

Stevie cringed. That would _not_ be a label she would apply to Jake. Considering breakups never really stuck with Jake and he was just so hard to turn down. “Ex is a very strong word for Jake. I don’t think he considers anyone to be an ex. He just sees people as potential lovers, current lovers or return lovers.”

“He’s cute.”

“Oh, Jake’s one perk is looking attractive. That and he knows how to celebrate a lover’s body,” Stevie said, the words dropping off her lips without any other thought. She heard the way it sounded a moment later, and flinched. Stevie ground her teeth and closed her eyes. “You know what, that’s...I...”

Ruth laughed, warm and sweet. Her hand came to rest on top of Stevie, her thumb running over the back of Stevie’s hand. “Stevie, we all have a past. It’s fine.”

Stevie opened her eyes again, tilting her head back at Ruth. She narrowed her eyes. “When you say fine do you mean actually fine or do you mean you’re mad and want me to ask questions?” Stevie had learned quickly with David it was usually the second.

Ruth squeezed her hand. “You’re good. I’m just glad I haven’t been embarrassed by an ex in New York.”

“Hey,” Patrick’s voice sounded slightly out of breath.

Stevie swiveled to catch him jogging toward them, “You couldn’t have been here five minutes ago?” Stevie accused.

Patrick blinked, clearly confused. “Uhh, you know how it is, closing the apothecary, outfit changes, the… _things.”_ Patrick hedged, rather than talk about the fact that he and David had probably spent quite a bit of time naked and horizontal rather than changing clothes. _Eww._ “I didn’t think you’d mind. You’re used to us.”

“You must be Patrick, I’m Ruth. My Pony and I have just been hanging out.”

Patrick’s eyes went wide and his head swung to look at Stevie before turning back to Ruth. “Ohh, you met Jake.”

“I did. I did meet Jake,” Ruth said, milking Stevie’s acute humiliation. 

“It’s an experience. The last time I met him he said my sweater brought out my lips.”

“My lips accentuate the curves of my body.”

Patrick’s eyes dilated to the size of saucers and he swallowed hard. “Yup, definitely Jake.”

“Where is your husband?” Stevie asked, knowing it sounded more like an accusation than a question.

“He’s...coming. He’s just finishing up in the car.”

Stevie craned her neck and could make out the silhouette of David still in the car. He was flicking at his hair in the visor mirror. She glanced back up at Patrick who shrugged. His eyes rolled but his face was all stupid and soft. David _was_ being weird. Ugh. She couldn’t take this.

“I hope you’re enjoying your time here,” Patrick said, still standing. 

“Stevie gave me the tiniest tour of a town I think I’ve ever been on,” Ruth answered.

“Walked her to the end of the motel drive and pointed.”

“Hey,” David said, slinking up to the table with a slight shimmy. “You must be Ruth.” He held his hand out tipped over like he was the fucking queen. Of course he fucking would. 

Stevie forced herself to bite her lip. David was back in leather, tight pants and a t-shirt. 

“David, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

David let out a laugh that was certainly forced and sent a look Stevie’s way. “I wish I could say the same. I mean...not about how wonderful it is to meet you, just that Stevie has been very tight-lipped about your relationship.”

“Stop being weird,” Stevie hissed, throwing a napkin at David.

David swiveled his head so fast and glared at her, lip curling. “Who’s being weird?”

“You. You’re being weird,” Stevie shot back. 

David’s eyes rolled and his face transformed from irritation to faux-charm in seconds. He squeezed Ruth’s hand and Stevie rolled her eyes again. “Don’t mind her. So,” David cleared his throat softly, moving his head slightly, “Ruth. Are you enjoying your trip to Schitt’s Creek?”

Ruth shot Stevie a sideways glance. “I haven’t gotten a chance to really explore.”

“I mean, we’d love to give you a tour of the shop. Tomorrow, after three,” David clarified. “The rest of the town is pretty visible from the storefront. Now, tell me all about the opening of Evita with Demi Lovato.” 

Patrick leaned over and whispered, “I think it’s going to be okay.”

Stevie punched his arm. “Jury is still out.”


End file.
